Where I Was...

...on Nine Eleven. This seems to be the topic of most blogs this weekend, and I figured I'd add my "whereabouts" to the list, tho' it's not particularly interesting...

On 9/11, I had planned to go over to another LLL Leader's house to show her how to update the Group Web pages for our Area. I was busy getting the kids ready (Ahren was 4 and Sean was almost 2), and for some reason the tv in the playroom was on the news (normally it was always on pbs, this was strange because I don't remember changing the channel or anything). I was half listening to the anouncer saying something about a plane hitting a building and I thought, "god, that's odd, how could the pilot not see the building??", and then I started watching and realizing that it didn't just hit a building but the WTC in New York. I called my friend and said ask if she had the news on, she had pbs on, but switched the channel just before the second plane hit. There we were both on the phone watching the same thing unravel on our tvs and unable to speak or even try to understand what was going on. I remember quickly saying through tears that I wouldn't be coming over and just sitting mezmerized at the tv.

After they announced that all flights were being grounded and the revelation about the flight in PA and the one that hit the Pentagon, I remember thinking that my friend Suna was flying into Chicago that day - I tried to call her cell phone, no answer and I was sick with worry until I got word from another friend, Nancy Jo that she was safe (tho' she wasn't able to get home when she had planned).

My daughter had preschool the next day and I remember struggling to keep myself pulled together as I dropped her and then learned that her teacher, Miss Tammie was stuck in Texas and wasn't able to return home for a couple of days. Shortly after 9/11, Ahren began having some separation anxiety problems, not wanting to leave my side (after I did my coop day in class, she got the idea that I could stay and wanted me to stay everyday) both in class and at dance class where I would wait for her in the waiting room. I think it was part of the anxiety that was in the air, you just couldn't escape it and it didn't matter how old (or young) you are.

In the aftermath, like many people I've tried to make some kind of sense of it. I was talking my sil, Lucia yesterday about it and about the idea of "how can God let this happen". She said that she heard once that to have true love, you have to let go of power (follow me here). If God truely loves us, s/he cannot be all powerful (and therefore can't "prevent" or "make" things happen). (Hmmm, I think this concept can also be applied to spousal relationships - something to think on, but for another post, another day).